Conflict Management – Managing Different Personality Types

It’s said that every person in the world has a different personality, is unique and even twins though they look similar are different from each other in many ways.

At times, we wonder why the opposite person thinks so differently and does not even come close to thinking or responding like we do.

Deep down we also want people to be like us. Accept us. Agree with us.

The reality is however quite the opposite. The more the number of people we meet the higher the variation in their and our thinking, feeling, behaving, perspectives as well as conflicts.  The faster we accept this truth, the less we suffer.

Why do people think and act so differently? Is it because people are usually selfish and only see their own benefits? Is it that they can’t understand us?

The answer is a big ‘NO’.

One of the major reasons is that each person is a different personality type and each of this personality type thinks and feels differently, sees the world differently and thus behaves differently.

When we cannot recognise, understand and manage this difference, it leads to conflicts.

The DOPE Personality Style Assessment

Here, we will introduce the interpersonal style tool the ‘DOPE’.  It stands for ‘4’ personality types: the Dove, the Owl, the Peacock, and the Eagle.

DOPE was originally introduced in 1928 and was called as DISC and later, it was further designed into an assessment in 1956 by Walter Clarke, an Industrial Psychologist. This test was found to have a good reliability and a decent validity.

We are also attaching the DOPE assessment tool for you to be able to self-assess and know your personality type. Here is the questionnaire and it’s scoring-

Let’s look at some of their traits of each type so we can understand them better –

The Eagles

They are authoritative, direct, dominating, time bound, fast, goal getters, competitive, task focused and aggressive. Body language can be strong, eye gaze is sharp and focused, mostly walk fast and straight and are well dressed.

The Peacocks

They are talkative, emotional, always advising, love limelight, people focussed, energetic, fast, multitaskers and impulsive. Body is loosely held with a lot of outward hand and feet movement, mostly smiling or warm, eye contact is also warm and can be colourfully dressed with a lot of accessories.

The Doves

They are balanced, productive, timid, peoples person and task focussed, slow and steady, particular at work. Body language is withheld and controlled, can have a hunch, eye contact can be missing or very brief or may not look directly into the other persons eye. Grooming and dress sense is neat and tidy but not loud. Use mostly mild pastel colours and minimal accessories.

The Owls

They are highly analytical, task focused, critical, slow, ask a lot of questions, can be timid. Body language is quite withdrawn, can have a hunch, eye contact is missing or limited, body movements are slow and limited, Grooming and dress sense is very simple and mostly go unnoticed.

There are many other personality tools like 16 PF, MBTI Etc. However, currently we will only look at the DOPE which is one of the simplest one and easy for you to understand and decipher.

If you closely observe the DOPE personality styles, there is so much of diversity in each style that conflict seems inevitable. Then, how do we manage conflict between the different styles? The answer is in being able to identify and accept the opposite person’s personality type and then adapting ourselves to their behaviors and needs to be able to strike a rapport and have win-win outcomes.

Let’s look at some ways in which each personality style can adapt to the other.

Addressing the Needs of the Doves:

• Be gentle and slow with them and not brash and fast
• Do not expect them to offer opinions and ideas in front of everyone
• Speak to them one on one in a closed door environment
• They need information that will explain the ‘why’
• They do not like to work alone and prefer working in small groups
• They need encouragement and assurance
• Make them feel that you care

Addressing the Needs of the Owl:

• Speak softly and slowly to Thinkers
• Talk to them about reachable and tangible goals
• Be sure to meet their needs for facts, data, timelines
• Give them time to reflect on information before they decide
• Exercise patience with Thinkers

Meeting the Needs of the Peacock:

• They appreciate people who will listen to them and share with them.
• Have patience with their quick decisions.
• They tend to “tell it like it is”, try not to take their comments personally.
• They want to know who is going to be involved instead of what the ‘work’ is
• They tend to start many jobs and not complete them, remind at intervals.
• They tend to exaggerate and over generalize, expect less outcomes then promised.

Meeting the Needs of the Eagle:

• Try not to bore them with details, get to the bottom line quickly.
• Don’t try to give them a big sales pitch, you will get caught.
• Let them choose their methods or paths of response, do not offer suggestions.
• Be sure to let them know what your expectations are, be direct.
• Try to increase your pace around Directors.

So, which personality style is yours and how do you plan to manage others around you????