Yes, I know what you are thinking. Self-Awareness and Self-Knowledge are two different names for the same thing, right?
Well, they are similar on the face of it. But if you go a little deeper, you will find a subtle difference in the two. And that’s what makes this discussion all the more interesting.
So, are you ready to dive into the world of the Self and explore these two terms in more detail? Here goes…Oh and one thing, I’m going to ensure that I keep this one really simple. I know how scary these words can sound for a lot of people. And I most certainly do not want you to feel like you are reading something out of a psychology textbook or whitepaper on the topic!
Many of you must be familiar with the term. It is the first quadrant of Daniel Goleman’s popular Emotional Intelligence Model. And a powerful tool that gives you insights into your inner world.
Now before going deeper into what self-awareness and self-knowledge are, lets first understand what our inner world comprises of.
Most of us have a very surface view of ourselves and others. You know like how when we say “so and so has a good personality.” What are we typically referring to? The way the person looks, dresses, behaves, communicates, carries themselves, etc. Majorly things we can see on the outside. But do you know, we have an entire cosmos operating within us which many of us are pretty much oblivious too? This inner world consists of our beliefs, motivations, values, complexes, attitudes, fears, etc. Basically, all those things which make us function the way we do.
As human beings we follow the iceberg theory. It is said, that the tip of an iceberg (the part outside the water), makes up only 10% of the iceberg. The remaining 90% is under the water. Similarly, we also have very little of us that actually shows on the outside. The rest is hidden within us.
And self-awareness is the tool that gives us a sneak peek into each of our inner world’s.
Let me explain to you with the help of an example.
Yesterday, I asked my colleague at 12 noon to complete an urgent task. It was finally completed at 7pm post multiple reminders from my end. When he informed me about its completion, I thanked him. However, I also noticed that it was not a happy “thank you.” It was an irritated one.
Now this ‘noticing’ is called self-awareness. It is basically being aware of what is happening within you in the present moment,
When I observed that moment a little closer, it gave me various insights:
In short, self-awareness helped me notice my reactions – thoughts, emotions, behaviours and physical sensations in the present moment.
And what’s so special about the present moment? It’s the only moment that’s truly free from the baggage of the past and the anxiety of the future. It therefore presents the most factual and correct information. And gives us clues as to what may be happening within us at a deeper level.
Getting aware of your reactions helps in:
Identifying your Emotional Triggers – Certain situations and people tend to push our buttons. It is important that we know what our triggers are so that we can be alert as to when our triggers our present.
Emotional Regulation – In order to regulate our emotions, we have to first be aware of what we are feeling, then we can work on processing our feelings.
Improves Empathy – As our ‘self’ awareness improves and we understand what is happening within us, it helps us understand others and their emotions better.
Helps Response over Reaction – When we are aware of our typical reactions, it becomes easier to convert our reactions into a response.
Improves ease of having Difficult Conversations – The most important element in handling difficult conversations, is being able to manage our emotions. Self-awareness helps us in doing so successfully, making such conversations much easier to handle.
Now self-knowledge, on the other hand, is finding the answer to the question “Who am I?” It’s about discovering your inner landscape. Unearthing the entire blueprint which makes you function the way you function. Knowing who you are and why are like that. Your typical traits, patterns.
Sounds mysterious and intriguing? It is! But what you discover when you open Pandora’s box may not always be. Sometimes what you find may surprise you in pleasant and even unpleasant ways.
Let’s continue with our example to understand.
So, self-awareness helped me understand my reactions. Now let me go a little deeper into it. Some of my patterns that emerged:
Now how does knowing these patterns help?
It gives you the power to create change.
Gaining Self-Knowledge helps in:
Identifying Strengths and Areas of Improvement – Like I realised being a time bound and responsible person is my strength. However, Communication is an area of improvement for me.
Identifying underlying Patterns – When you know how and why you tend to think and behave in a particular manner, it gives you a better understanding of who you really are.
Enhances Self-Acceptance – Many of us have challenges accepting ourselves. It’s only when we understand our ‘Self’ from a deeper place along with the ‘why,’ it makes it easier to accept ourselves.
Helps take better actions – If you want to make changes in the way you act and behave, it is important you understand the root cause and make changes there. Like I realised one major cause of the task not getting completed on time was my communication. It lacked the assertiveness and impact that I needed to get the task completed on time.
Enhancing Influencing Skills – A person who knows themselves well and thereafter works on enhancing themselves becomes very influential. People want to follow them even without a leadership tag.
Self-knowledge helps you:
Self-awareness is the tool that gives you a glimpse of lies within, self-knowledge is actually what lies within.
Consider Pandora’s box again. Imagine multiple little ribbons hanging out from the box. Now if you hold the end of one such ribbon and follow it upwards, it will take you inside the box. And there you will find multiple different types of ribbons, intertwined with each other.
So, self-awareness is about catching hold of one ribbon which is showing in that moment. That leads you to the jumbled mess of ribbons within the box. Which is self-knowledge. The blueprint of the Self.
If you have identified a thought, emotion, behaviour or physical sensation in the moment, you are using self-awareness. These are typically more surface level. If you are digging deeper and get in touch with deeper level layers of your Self – patterns, thoughts and emotions, then its about self-knowledge.
In my example, self-awareness helped me calm myself down. It also gave me a chance to re-assess the situation. However, it was self-knowledge that helped me realise I faced challenges when it came to assertiveness. This was a pattern that I needed to work on. And the only way that I could actually work on was by attacking the underlying cause, which was my tendency to please people and consistent effort to keep my ‘Self-Image’ intact.
While both create change, self-awareness is the start of it. While self-knowledge helps create deeper and more lasting change.
This is how these two powerful terms help us in creating change. They can be enhanced by observation, introspection and journaling. Asking others for feedback can also provide insights into our blind spots.
The game changer? First accepting what we find and then working on it.
At The Yellow Spot, all our training programs are aimed at creating self-awareness. With the help of deeper conversations with participants, we also help them enhance their self-knowledge. Connect with us to learn more about how we can create programs that help your participants unearth the same.
If you would like to explore this further, we are happy to have a conversation.
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