A particularly important part that is not covered in most communication skills training programs is ‘being assertive’. It is definitely one of the most essential parts of communication and one that can affect pretty much all the other aspects.
We all face difficult situations in our lives, be it on the personal or professional front. And unfortunately, none of us can avoid the conflicts or difficult conversations that accompany such situations for too long!
Which conversations am I referring to? The one’s we land up having with our family, friends, colleagues and sometimes even strangers while commuting or in public places! Some of these people are close to us while some are not. And for those people close to us, it can especially become a problem if these conversations are not handled effectively. Therefore, learning the art of being assertive to handle such conversations well is essential.
So why do we need to communicate assertively in such conversations or otherwise too? Well let me give you my top 5 reasons that will tell you why you need to communicate assertively and also why communication skills training programs need to cover this topic!
Sharing Feedback
It’s important to provide feedback to one another. It helps create awareness in us and gives us the opportunity to fill in our gaps! However, feedback must be shared carefully. Else it can break a person’s confidence and damage their self-esteem. And the only time we can truly give feedback in a constructive manner, is when we are in an assertive frame of mind. That’s when it comes out neutrally and with the right intent. It’s also taken well by the person receiving it and gives them motivation to work on it to progress.
Managing your Work and Time
Most people who are not assertive have difficulty saying ‘no’. In fact, it’s a huge challenge for them. And it’s because of this that they end up having too many things on their plate! This in turn can impact the quality of the work they deliver as well as their ability to meet deadlines.
Standing up for yourself
How many of us find it difficult to tell the other person that you are uncomfortable with the jokes that they cracked on you? Well that’s due to a lack of assertiveness again! It can stop you from voicing your concerns and give others the wrong impression that they can walk over you whenever they want. Standing up for yourself is necessary and its assertiveness that can help you do that.
Resolving conflicts
As I mentioned before, all of us get into conflicts. We also have conflicts between team members, with our bosses and sometimes with our subordinates. Being assertive helps you in being open towards the other person and putting forward your viewpoints without being too emotional about it. It also helps you be neutral and look for win-win solutions.
Improving our Self-Esteem
It’s somewhat the chicken and the egg story when it comes to assertiveness and self-esteem! A low self-esteem causes low assertiveness which further pushes our self-esteem down causing even lower levels of assertiveness. And it’s really no surprise what a low self-esteem can do and how it can affect not only our personal development skills and corporate communication skills, but also a host of other skills. Its therefore important we break out of this cycle and truly become the best that we can. And trust me, many aspects of your life will start falling in place!
So now do you agree with me when I insist that assertiveness training needs to be a major part of every communication skills training?
