Do you ever feel too overwhelmed and have a strong sense of wanting to be left alone for a while? Or wanting to go somewhere far off to a secluded place, even away from your loved ones? And do whatever your heart desires without the need to keep checking on the time or mobile all the time. Do you ever feel saying no to the demands of the people around, no matter how important they may seem? Is work-life balance becoming a burning issue for you?
The above needs typically come to our notice through a small voice within us. If we listen carefully; we can hear it when we just wake up or are about to sleep, in the bathroom, amongst nature or have some spare time on hand. And what do we do with it? Ignore it and go ahead with our ever-busy lives. What’s the point listening to it? Who has the time for it anyway!
Unfortunately, we never stop to think why something so deep within us is asking for these things. Nor do we give a thought to why we feel that way or what makes us feel that way.
When I reflected on the above questions and thoughts; the answer that came up was very simple, yet very profound.
My Realisation
I have come to realise that most of the times our lives revolve around our families, friends, work, home, mobile phones, social media, internet, etc. All areas, that are actually external to us. And this is where we spend most of our time.
The area that we do not listen to or give quality time to, is our Self. This Self which is made up of our body, mind, emotions and soul. And is what we can truly call as ours. Yet, these are the very areas which are ignored the most.
Think About it…
- Our body is over stretched; working and running around at least 18 hours a day, trying to finish tasks one after another often without a break.
- We seldom take a break from constant thinking. Most of our thinking is just a repetition of our past thought patterns and is actually autonomous. So, when was the last time you reflected on the types of thoughts you had and what they may actually be trying to tell you?
- We are usually overwhelmed by irritation, anger, frustration, sadness and fear based on our reactions to external events. How much time do we give to allowing them to settle down and be processed in a healthy way.
- The same happens with our soul. We seem to have sold it to worldly demands, without taking a step back to think what we really want in life. Are we investing our time in things that make us happy. Things that we can look back at and feel good to have accomplished. Or are we just a part of the rat race. And are constantly running to make more and more money, often beyond what we require or may ever use. Trying hard to reach or stay at the top. Forgetting the simple pleasures of life and having difficulties maintaining work-life balance. Going beyond right and wrong. Risking doing things that adults are not supposed to do. Being childlike. Jumping into puddles and dancing in the rain. Or forgetting time while playing with the puppy on the road. The soul has no age. And what may attract it and make it happy, may be quite distant from the food we give it every day!
The Secret…
So how do we fulfil our real inner needs? Needs without which we remain so dissatisfied, no matter how much success we get in life.
I realise it’s a choice one has to make, to be able to balance these 4 ‘Self components’ with the worldly needs and demands. And requires a profound sense of awareness, conviction and a constant reminder that this is most important for me in life.
It also needs a strong and clear understanding, that everything is temporary and can perish any day. We too will not survive beyond that point and will have to leave everything that we have been striving for behind. This is the most basic, yet profound truth. One, which when dwelled deep into it and embodied, has the power to create the shift we desire. Then we won’t need big planners, calendars, reminders and people to manage us. It will come naturally and we will start operating from what is more important to us over what is wanted from us.
Nourishing ourselves first to have a healthy work-life balance is not selfish. It is, in fact selfcare. And if we don’t take enough care of ourselves, we cannot take care of anything outside of us.
Ways to Practice Work-Life Balance
Here are some ways to start spending more time with your Self and in turn achieving a healthy work life balance:
- Stay away from your mobile phone and laptops after working hours. When I do so, I realise I experience a lot of peace. I am able to disconnect from work much better, giving my mind and eyes the rest that they need. Extend this rule to the weekends too. To be your best while at work, you need to also give your Self the best break. And while I know watching a movie or chatting with your friends on social media is a break for many of us, it is not quite so for your eyes or mind which are now busy working towards this activity!
- Stop responding to people who keep calling you again and again for every small thing. Start saying ‘no’ more often to the petty demands of relatives, pushy friends, and even certain colleagues. We often say yes to them to stay in their good books. But what’s the point when it’s running us down and taking a toll on our mental, emotional, and physical health.
- Plan and go on holidays often. You deserve it. The world is a beautiful place, waiting for you to see it. Go out and connect with nature. Become one with it. Let it do its magic.
- Focus on your needs and not on your wants. What you want may be a Mercedes Benz and what you really need may be a cycle! This helps reduce the pressure to earn a lot, reducing the stress of constant progress and growth. This also frees up time to do what really matters to your soul😊.
- Cultivate simple hobbies like reading, gardening, blogging, painting, helping others, etc. These will give you a constructive break and channel your energy in areas that make you feel good. Just ensure that they can be practiced easily and are not too time and energy consuming. They should not feel like an addition to your to-do list!
Also…
- Discard all the old stuff from your kitchen, wardrobe, living room, drawers, storages and desks. The less clutter you have in your house, the free-er you will feel. And the more time you can spend on your Self rather than in looking after these objects.
- Focus on sustenance instead of growth all the time. Sustenance helps us be grateful for what we have, instead of constantly running after what we don’t, thereby reducing stress and more work-life balance.
- Collaborate over competing all the time. Competing and constantly trying to stay ahead takes a lot of energy and time. It also puts a lot of emotional stress on us. And what does it give you? Honestly, a temporary high. Someone will always get ahead of you and run your efforts down. Besides, all that goes up eventually has to come down! Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean to say that you should not be the best and work hard towards it. Its just that you need to question yourself whether it is really worth the trouble you may be putting your Self into?
Last but not the least…
This is one of the toughest one’s…Ready to hear it?
To have a greater work-life balance, actually spend time with your Self. No, I am not talking about reading a book while drinking a good cup of coffee. Yes, that is a great improvement when our definition of Self time is surfing on the internet or watching a movie. However, are you really spending time with your Self there? Or is it time spent with the book or the coffee?
So, let’s go one step deeper. Let’s drop the external toys and actually sit with just our Self.
And what does that mean? It means listening to your thoughts, feeling your emotions, and connecting to the physical sensations in your body.
Difficult? Yes, most of us are scared of our inner world and do our best to keep away from it. Impossible? No, if you give it a chance. After all, every relationship takes time to develop and become comfortable. Especially the one with your Self. Is it Enjoyable? Once the relationship starts getting deeper. There’s a whole world waiting inside of you. A beautiful happy world that’s just waiting for you to discover it. One where peace prevails and has the power to manage work, life, and a lot more…
So, when are you starting your work-life balance journey and building your relationship with your Self?